The Funny Thing About ..........
Glide Time: The time between the engine falling out and the airplane hitting the ground.
Aeromodeling: The art of turning precision cut and glued balsa wood and foam into toothpicks and confetti.
Crash: Method of seeing inside a model airplane.
Receiver: Part of the radio that picks up interference.
Tank: Temporary storage place for chemicals before they saturate the plane.
Elevator: Device to prevent level flight.
Mixture Screw: Device to meter too little fuel to the engine at critical moments.
Nose Wheel: Device that prevents an airplane from landing without bouncing.
Spinner: Critical part of landing gear
Luck: Very sparse on your side, but plenty with your flying colleagues only they refer to it as SKILL.
Tough Luck: This is what you usually have. Your flying colleagues refer to it as lack of skill.
Bad Luck: Same as TOUGH.
Good Luck: What you need the most, but rarely have.
Crash: Quick method of removing radio and engine from a model to fit them in your new one.
Crash: Also: Synonym for "rekitting" a model
Center Of Gravity: Point in which G-forces, dedicated to separating wing from fuselage, do their stuff.
Cyanoacrylate: Special glue, designed to instantly glue fingers to balsa structures.
Cyanoacrylate: Also: Special glue, instantly curing when parts are misaligned, will hardly (if at all) cure when parts are correctly aligned.
Dead Stick: Two of these can be found on your transmitter after failing to properly charge your batteries.
Engine: Device designed to make noise. Will suddenly stop making this noise when beyond glide-in distance.
Epoxy: The stuff that has replaced the balsa after the flying season.
Fail Safe: Option on PCM radio's that allows a pilot to choose whether to crash near him, or a long way away
Fuel Tank: Plastic bottle, designed to leak when placed in totally inaccessible locations.
Fuselage: Optional interconnecting structure between wings and engine.
Glitch: What you shout when you pull up elevator while flying inverted at 10 feet.
Landing Gear: Structure to separate fuselage from runway after landing. Does not always succeed in doing so.
Mixture Screw - Device to meter too little fuel to engine at critical moments.
Propeller: Handy tool to cut away excess skin on knuckles.
JETTIQUETTE • Always inform the other pilots of your intentions, your intention to takeoff, your intention to land, and your intention to make a big crater in the middle of the runway (it's always hard taxiing around those fuselage tails sticking out of the ground).
• When walking up to the runway for landing, it is impolite to walk between two people using a buddy box.
• It is the ultimate in bad manners to run over someone else's plane when backing out of the parking area, unless that plane is the only one with half a chance at beating you in the next contest.
• If a fellow flier should be unfortunate enough to seriously injure himself at the field, common courtesy demands that you should lend any assistance necessary, such as helping him Super Glue the forty-two inch long gash on his forehead together, so he can get back to the serious business of flying.
• If your aircraft goes out of control, it is polite to warn other pilots of the fact by calling out "HEADS UP!". Diving under a table and yelling "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, SUCKERS!" is not considered appropriate behavior.
• It is not only rude but against club rules to buzz the pits, the road, or the parking area. On the other hand, the guy mowing the strip is always fair game.
• Always be considerate and patient with a beginner pilot who comes to the flying field with a trainer. Someday he'll be a reckless egotistical pilot, just like you.
More...
1. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
2. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
3. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.
4. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
6. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
7. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
8. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no-one knows what they are.
9. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
10. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
11. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
12. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
13. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
14. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
15. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old bold pilots.
Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
You might be an r/c modeler if.....
You are making an inverted low pass and then pull UP on the elevator
You get to the field and realize your transmitter is still on charge at home
You will go flying when it's 104 but you wont cut the grass for your wife cause" it's too hot out there"
You buy a $600 mini lathe to make $5 airplane parts
You can program a multifunction 9 channel computer radio but you can figure out your VCR
You have a dog-eared Tower Hobbies catalog in your bathroom
You spend $12.50 to get your wife some costume jewelry and $365 for r/c stuff and figure everything is even
You consider a Sunday picnic a few hot dogs and some soda at the field
Your wedding anniversary falls on the weekend of a fly in and you actually think about your choices
You shop Toys-R-Us for pilots
You have balls of dust on top of your living room furniture
You have EVER glued your hands together with CA and have had to use an exacto knife in your teeth to cut them apart.
You have built two right wings for a single winged plane
You are shopping for land to build your dream home on and would rather have open pastureland than rolling wooded hills
You have at least 3 planes in separate stages of completion
You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
You wear goggles and a silk scarf around your neck on the way to the field
You have at least 10 T-shirts with airplanes on them
You use more waxed paper building planes than your wife does baking
You buy the "wife and kids" a new Pentium 3 computer for Christmas so you can practice with the Dave Brown flight simulator
You introduce your wife as your co- pilot
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
I Can Fly!
I can't land.
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm an R/C pilot and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up just after daylight and out chasing thermals up and down the mountains."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and, in fact, he flew Zagis with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive, he's an R/C flyer."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 118 years old." The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went flying with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married." The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?" The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"
:) More Definitions
AEROMODELING : The art of turning precision-cut and glued balsa wood and foam into toothpicks and confetti.
AIRPLANE - Heavier than air machine that flies like it's heavier than air.
BALSA - An extremely light substitute for gold.
CRASH - Method of seeing inside a model airplane.
DINNER - A meal that is always cold by the time you get back from flying.
DUCTED-FAN: A high-maintenance salad shooter.
ELEVATOR - Device to prevent level flight.
ENGINE - Device that doesn't start when you want it to, and cuts your fingers.
FAIL SAFE - Option on PCM radio's that allows a pilot to choose whether to crash near him, or a long way away.
FLYING FIELD - Take off area. Landings occur elsewhere.
GIRLS - Something to be interested in before you take up flying.
GLIDE-TIME (1): The time between the Engine falling out and the Airplane hitting the ground.
GLIDE-TIME (2): Time between the Wings folding and the airplane hitting the ground.
HINGE - Device to prevent control surface movement and cause flutter.
INSTRUCTOR: Old pilot who loves flying and teaching others to fly...usually can not tell you how many planes he has crashed.
INVERTED FLIGHT - Method of landing without wear and tear on the wheels.
JOKER - Person who invites you to "taxi back" after a dead stick landing.
LANDING - Test of strength between your plane and the planet.
LB. - Abbreviation for "pound", used to describe how much overweight an airplane is.
MIXTURE SCREW - Device to meter too little fuel to the engine at critical moments.
MOTOR - Electric device that starts when you don't want it to, and cuts your fingers.
NOSE WHEEL - Device that prevents an airplane from landing without bouncing.
PLUG - (1)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact in your engine's ignition.
PLUG - (2)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact with your radio.
PROPELLER: Wood, plastic or composite device used to stabilize inferior landings.
RADIO - Device that enables an airplane to crash in different places than it otherwise would.
RECEIVER - Part of the radio system that picks up interference.
RUNWAY: Flat object used by student pilots to walk on to retrieve aircraft which "almost landed ok".
SKID - Another word for spinner.
SPINNER - Critical part of landing gear.
TAIL ASSEMBLY: Fragile device which has affinity for door frames during non-flight transport.
TANK - Temporary storage place for chemicals before they saturate the airplane.
TRAINER: Inexpensive throw-a-way device used by beginning pilots to scare instructors and spectators with.
TRANSMITTER or RECEIVER FAILURE: Something which happens only on first flight of a plane (usually the last flight, too).
:) No matter what else happens, fly the airplane. Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and center of gravity; an airplane flies because of money.
:) The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire
:) Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!
:) A good landing is one from which you can walk away. A great landing is one after which you can still use your airplane
:) If God meant man to fly, he’d have given him more money.
:) There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
:) You might be an RC airplane modeler if...
1. You have more than one scar on your "cranking hand."
2. You spend more time at the office browsing online hobby sites than doing your work.
3. You have 47 miscellaneous NiCd batteries and can't find a pair of D cells for your flashlight.
4. You see your wife ironing while wearing a thin nighty and it reminds you of the Monokote job you need to finish.
5. 110 degree scorchers are forecasted for the weekend and you hope it isn't breezy.
6. You smash your thumb with a hammer while doing a project for your wife and the only thing you worry about is will it be healed by the weekend.
7. You have fuel stains on the knees of your favorite slacks.
8. You have plenty of paper towels and Windex but your car windshield is always dirty.
9. You keep feeling for the trim tabs on your TV remote control.
10. You have at least three planes in various stages of completion.
11. You use your field box to crank your weed eater.
12. You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
Definitions ..........
All the above were found at Chippewa R/C Hobby